- Noah's tumor hasn't grown in 2 weeks! It is the exact same size. Wow. Noah, on the other hand, is continuing to grow!
- His neck doesn't seem to be as hyperextended as it was at the last appt. It is slightly, but not nearly as much as before (the tumor must not be as large proportionately now that his head is bigger and tumor is the same size)!
- He is still swallowing! Lots of fluid in his belly and bladder, hooray!
- His tongue wasn't sticking out the whole time like it was last time. It did make an appearance, but for the majority of the US his lips were completely shut and tongue where it should be (less pressure than 2 weeks ago).
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Best News!
We had a dr. appointment and ultrasound yesterday here in Wenatchee. I was so anxious going in to the appointment, not knowing what to expect. I am still in awe of the news!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Seasons
For the first time in 6 years for me and the first time in Kyle's LIFE, we're experiencing a beautiful fall! Thank you Lord for this reminder that everything has its se
ason in our lives.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
God's voice
I first want to send a special thanks to my friend Beckie's good friend Laura from Utah who, although has never met me, was so sweet to create a web button in honor of Noah (see top right corner). How freaking cute and scrapbookie is it? Thanks Laura! Feel free to copy it and post wherever!
I've had a rough couple of days emotionally. I've just been doubtful, sad, scared. My mom tells me that God has continually told her that Noah is going to make it, and live a long happy life. But I'm learning so much about fear and how debilitating it is. I never would've thought the enemy could use it as such a strong tool. But, today at church God assured me the following, it brought such peace and comfort. It felt like God was directly talking to me. Wow, for one of the first times in my life, I feel like I am truly hearing His voice. WOW!
I feel like this verse will sort of be a focus during this trying time. We have to believe that God CAN heal Noah.
When he heard this, Jesus said, 'This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.'
John 11:4
Our next Dr. appt. is tuesday to measure amniotic fluid levels (is Noah still swallowing?), I'll try to write after that appointment. Lord, give these doctors wisdom. I believe you are working a miracle!
xoxo
I've had a rough couple of days emotionally. I've just been doubtful, sad, scared. My mom tells me that God has continually told her that Noah is going to make it, and live a long happy life. But I'm learning so much about fear and how debilitating it is. I never would've thought the enemy could use it as such a strong tool. But, today at church God assured me the following, it brought such peace and comfort. It felt like God was directly talking to me. Wow, for one of the first times in my life, I feel like I am truly hearing His voice. WOW!
I feel like this verse will sort of be a focus during this trying time. We have to believe that God CAN heal Noah.
When he heard this, Jesus said, 'This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.'
John 11:4
Our next Dr. appt. is tuesday to measure amniotic fluid levels (is Noah still swallowing?), I'll try to write after that appointment. Lord, give these doctors wisdom. I believe you are working a miracle!
xoxo
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Yesterday
My mom went with Ella and I for my first appointment with the perinatologist up here in Seattle at UW. The good news is I'm much more comfortable delivering here with this doctor versus the one at UCSD-- she has dealt with a handful of cervical teratomas in her life and said they are very comfortable with the EXIT procedure (the specialized c-section the doctors will be performing). The doc at UCSD couldn't even tell me what it stood for, much less familiar with the operation!
The bad news is that Noah's mass has grown, from 3.5cm x 4 cm to 4 x 6. But, it's growing proportionately along with him, which is what they expect. I guess I was just expecting God to ALREADY work a miracle, stop the growth or make it disappear... but that's not to say He still won't. The miracle can happen at any time, even on the day he's born, so although I was initally discouraged I know I won't doubt my God and what He's capable of doing.
He is still swallowing fluid! His stomach had fluid in it and his bladder was about to explode, lol! But, they noticed that a lot of the time his tongue was thrust forward a bit, which would be from the tumor putting pressure on his throat. Dr. Hitti was concerned about the structure and what it could potentially do once he's born, but assured us that at this point, we will want to get Noah to 36-37 weeks before they schedule the EXIT procedure. As long as he's inside, he is perfectly fine. Although his neck is hyperextended because of the mass, Noah feels no pain, and he's moving around a lot.
Dr. Hitti told us that she delivered a baby with Noah's same condition 9 months ago, and before the delivery they were extremely concerned about the outcome. But this baby came out screaming at the top of its lungs, telling everyone his airway was open and they didn't even have to insert an oxygen tube! It is my prayer that this will be Noah's story. I can't wait to hear him yell at those doctors!
It was a sad day, not that I didn't learn a lot that I didn't already know, but it's just the reality of it all I guess. I have to go back to UW in 3-4 weeks for an MRI on the mass so that the surgeons who will be removing it will know what they're dealing with. More good news is I will only have to go to Seattle 2 more times before the birth, and I will intermittently be seeing an OB in Wenatchee for the routine OB appointments. So that takes some stress off, especially with winter on its way!
I still believe God has special plans for this baby. I look at Ella, and I am just in awe of the true miracle that life is. In today's society, it just seems like people think life is disposable, creating and ending it as they please. It makes my heart so sad. God has a purpose for ALL life, and I am impatiently waiting to find out what Noah's is!! :)
P.S. Kyle and I made an offer on our dream house yesterday and will find out today if we got it!
The bad news is that Noah's mass has grown, from 3.5cm x 4 cm to 4 x 6. But, it's growing proportionately along with him, which is what they expect. I guess I was just expecting God to ALREADY work a miracle, stop the growth or make it disappear... but that's not to say He still won't. The miracle can happen at any time, even on the day he's born, so although I was initally discouraged I know I won't doubt my God and what He's capable of doing.
He is still swallowing fluid! His stomach had fluid in it and his bladder was about to explode, lol! But, they noticed that a lot of the time his tongue was thrust forward a bit, which would be from the tumor putting pressure on his throat. Dr. Hitti was concerned about the structure and what it could potentially do once he's born, but assured us that at this point, we will want to get Noah to 36-37 weeks before they schedule the EXIT procedure. As long as he's inside, he is perfectly fine. Although his neck is hyperextended because of the mass, Noah feels no pain, and he's moving around a lot.
Dr. Hitti told us that she delivered a baby with Noah's same condition 9 months ago, and before the delivery they were extremely concerned about the outcome. But this baby came out screaming at the top of its lungs, telling everyone his airway was open and they didn't even have to insert an oxygen tube! It is my prayer that this will be Noah's story. I can't wait to hear him yell at those doctors!
It was a sad day, not that I didn't learn a lot that I didn't already know, but it's just the reality of it all I guess. I have to go back to UW in 3-4 weeks for an MRI on the mass so that the surgeons who will be removing it will know what they're dealing with. More good news is I will only have to go to Seattle 2 more times before the birth, and I will intermittently be seeing an OB in Wenatchee for the routine OB appointments. So that takes some stress off, especially with winter on its way!
I still believe God has special plans for this baby. I look at Ella, and I am just in awe of the true miracle that life is. In today's society, it just seems like people think life is disposable, creating and ending it as they please. It makes my heart so sad. God has a purpose for ALL life, and I am impatiently waiting to find out what Noah's is!! :)
P.S. Kyle and I made an offer on our dream house yesterday and will find out today if we got it!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Hiccups!
I am very happy and encouraged to report that Noah has had the hiccups a couple times in the past few days, which I see as a very good thing! Considering babies get hiccups when they swallow too much amniotic fluid, that means Noah's airway has plenty of room even to swallow too much fluid! It felt like an encouraging reminder from God that He is taking sweet care of Noah, just as He has confirmed through so many people that he is healing and he is going to be okay. Thank you Lord for these encouraging moments!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Noah
At this point I'm realizing nobody reads my blog, lol.
It's taken me 2 weeks to write this entry- everytime I log in to write I can't get past a few sentences before I'm emotionally exhausted or I just feel like avoiding writing it. Somehow putting things on paper make them real, and I have to admit I've never wanted to escape reality like I do now in my life.
I'm going to somewhat shift the focus of my blog, so I can post progress, emotions, blessings, signs from the Lord, etc. regarding our sweet baby Noah and his story so that family and friends can check this site rather than me having to send out mass e-mails (or tell the story over and over again). Plus, I think it will help me to sort out feelings and a way to reach out for support and most importantly, prayer surrounding the whole situation.
We found out at our 21-week ultrasound that we're having a boy! As soon as my mother-in-law and daughter left the room, my regular OB continued to focus on the area around his neck, repeatedly explaining "this is umbilical chord, this is not". She kept repeating herself. I was like, sooo what's your point. She then said, "something's there, you need to go have another Ultrasound done at UCSD". We impatiently waited the whole afternoon trying to get an appointment, when they finally squeezed us in at the end of their day. Apparently the Ultrasound technician takes several pictures while a team of doctors were reviewing what she was doing in another room. Finally, 40 minutes later, the team came in my dimly lit room and said, "This is what we think it is."
They said it is a cervical teratoma, which is a tumor around the baby's neck. They occur about 1 in 50,000 pregnancies, however only around 250 babies have been reported to be born with it (likely because the doctors encourage abortion--ugh--don't get me started). They told me it's not chromosomal, it is extremely rare, and they think it's from identical twins that didn't separate and organize correctly. We're scheduled to meet with our new perinatologist at the University of Washington next tuesday. I'm nervous, excited, anxious, and somewhat annoyed. I feel like they're going to tell me things I already know (the morbidity rate of a baby with this condition, the complications that can occur, etc), and to be honest I just don't want to hear it! Of course I will not be naive and not listen to the doctors, but I feel like we subscribe to two completely different schools of truth. Does that make sense?
There's a lot of things that could happen in the pregnancy and at Noah's birth. For now, I won't bore you or scare myself with the what ifs. At this point, they're giving him a 50% chance of survival if he makes it through the pregnancy. But, blah blah blah. We have a God of miracles, and statistics mean nothing to Him! I have allowed myself to be sad, and to cry A LOT, but I don't think God wants us to dwell on these feelings, or focus on the what ifs. Any one of us can wake up one morning and have our world completely changed-- but again, the what ifs.
I am drawing closer to the Lord than I ever have in my life! A part of me feels guilty for that, because it has taken something of this magnitude to get me to fall to my knees before Him. But I know that this is a perfect example of how he can use ANY situation to bring Himself glory, including the saddest ones in our lives. I am putting all my faith in his promises, resting in His peace for whatever His will be for Noah's life. I truly believe in my heart that this tumor will not reach a ginormous size, and that it will be removed, and that he will go on to live a completely normal, happy life.
Now, we pray and wait... and praise Jesus for the blessings in our life, including Noah. He is perfectly and wonderfully made, and he has a purpose on this earth.
It's taken me 2 weeks to write this entry- everytime I log in to write I can't get past a few sentences before I'm emotionally exhausted or I just feel like avoiding writing it. Somehow putting things on paper make them real, and I have to admit I've never wanted to escape reality like I do now in my life.
I'm going to somewhat shift the focus of my blog, so I can post progress, emotions, blessings, signs from the Lord, etc. regarding our sweet baby Noah and his story so that family and friends can check this site rather than me having to send out mass e-mails (or tell the story over and over again). Plus, I think it will help me to sort out feelings and a way to reach out for support and most importantly, prayer surrounding the whole situation.
We found out at our 21-week ultrasound that we're having a boy! As soon as my mother-in-law and daughter left the room, my regular OB continued to focus on the area around his neck, repeatedly explaining "this is umbilical chord, this is not". She kept repeating herself. I was like, sooo what's your point. She then said, "something's there, you need to go have another Ultrasound done at UCSD". We impatiently waited the whole afternoon trying to get an appointment, when they finally squeezed us in at the end of their day. Apparently the Ultrasound technician takes several pictures while a team of doctors were reviewing what she was doing in another room. Finally, 40 minutes later, the team came in my dimly lit room and said, "This is what we think it is."
They said it is a cervical teratoma, which is a tumor around the baby's neck. They occur about 1 in 50,000 pregnancies, however only around 250 babies have been reported to be born with it (likely because the doctors encourage abortion--ugh--don't get me started). They told me it's not chromosomal, it is extremely rare, and they think it's from identical twins that didn't separate and organize correctly. We're scheduled to meet with our new perinatologist at the University of Washington next tuesday. I'm nervous, excited, anxious, and somewhat annoyed. I feel like they're going to tell me things I already know (the morbidity rate of a baby with this condition, the complications that can occur, etc), and to be honest I just don't want to hear it! Of course I will not be naive and not listen to the doctors, but I feel like we subscribe to two completely different schools of truth. Does that make sense?
There's a lot of things that could happen in the pregnancy and at Noah's birth. For now, I won't bore you or scare myself with the what ifs. At this point, they're giving him a 50% chance of survival if he makes it through the pregnancy. But, blah blah blah. We have a God of miracles, and statistics mean nothing to Him! I have allowed myself to be sad, and to cry A LOT, but I don't think God wants us to dwell on these feelings, or focus on the what ifs. Any one of us can wake up one morning and have our world completely changed-- but again, the what ifs.
I am drawing closer to the Lord than I ever have in my life! A part of me feels guilty for that, because it has taken something of this magnitude to get me to fall to my knees before Him. But I know that this is a perfect example of how he can use ANY situation to bring Himself glory, including the saddest ones in our lives. I am putting all my faith in his promises, resting in His peace for whatever His will be for Noah's life. I truly believe in my heart that this tumor will not reach a ginormous size, and that it will be removed, and that he will go on to live a completely normal, happy life.
Now, we pray and wait... and praise Jesus for the blessings in our life, including Noah. He is perfectly and wonderfully made, and he has a purpose on this earth.
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