Today Kyle & I had our last visit at UW before Noah's delivery day.
I can't believe in 3 weeks, I will be holding my sweet baby, and will be a mommy of two!
We pretty much heard the same information from the doctors. It's weird, because Kyle and I went in to this appointment with a completely different attitude. It was like we didn't really care what the doctors said, because we are still expecting our miracle even if it doesn't take place before birth.
We were a little surprised that the cyst has grown, quite a bit actually... because of a couple different things that happened in the last few weeks we thought Noah was healed. I didn't blog about it because I didn't know what to think of it, but about a week and a half ago I woke up in the middle of the night because my uterus was shaking rhythmically back and forth; much different than those big kicks. But, the cyst is definitely still there. I was sad and disappointed, but not completely shocked. We knew that regardless of what the doctors say, there is still just so much unknown until Noah is born... so why stress about new bits of information that might be scary, but even more importantly, the information may be trivial and not mean a thing.
He is still swallowing, still moving around like crazy, his tongue is still moving around, and he's still upside down! I asked the doctor if the fact that he's upside down would contribute to the increased size of the cyst (it's water filled, so it just sorta made sense to me that gravity would make it so the cyst is draining less down in to his body since he's upside down). She said maybe, but they don't really know why some cysts grow and others don't. Also, he is already 5.5 lbs (not including his little friend on his neck, lol)! So if babies gain about 1/2 lb. a week at this point, we're praying for a 6.5-7 lb. baby! We got a great face shot on the ultrasound today, his cheeks look so chubby it is hilarious!
She also told me that we will be taking over 2 operating rooms because we will have so many people present at the birth (over 20!), and if they need to perform a tracheotomy immediately they will have everything there if they need it.
I have one more ultrasound next week in Wenatchee and an appt. with the OB here on the same day, and after that we just wait for the 5th when Kyle and I will head over for the amnio to make sure Noah's lungs are ready (he'll be 36 weeks), and then go in to surgery at 7:30am the morning of the delivery. Because of the type of c-section they need to perform (EXIT procedure), they are hoping to use a spinal anaesthetic, but depending on how much blood I lose they may need to knock me out completely, and possibly a blood transfusion. AHHHH! Please pray this is not the case (not just for my sake, but obviously Noah's too), and that they will be able to cut Noah's chord right away because his airway is clear and he won't need to rely on the placenta (and they can stitch me up). I have never been afraid of needles or anything like it, but I am absolutely horrified at the thought of a blood transfusion. Not just because of the risk of disease, but it's creepy to think of someone else's blood cells floatin' around in there!
As it gets closer I'm getting more anxious, and it seems like it's getting harder to trust God. I have to continually, all day long, remind myself that God is in control, that He has a plan, and that He will be glorified through all of this somehow. I am holding on to the strength of my husband, who's faith has been so strong and unwaivering, knowing that no matter what happens. Whenever I start thinking negative, or feel Satan himself creeping in to my mind and thoughts, I have to seriously talk these thoughts through with Kyle and it's like he talks me down from the ledge. I am so grateful for such an amazing husband and man of God at my side for the rest of my life... I know that sounds cheesy but it's true!
We are set to close on our house on December 31st, maybe sooner! We will be moving in just in time for Noah, yeehaw! Our "dream house" that we were waiting on (the short sale) fell through because the bank's appraisal came in ridiculously high, making our offer look super lame. But we ended up finding an adorable, much more affordable, little bit smaller, but still awesome house that is already vacant in a better neighborhood. It was obvious that this is where God wants us, we can't wait!
Thank you Lord for all the blessings in our lives, eventhough they are harder to see during this trying time. I am MOST GRATEFUL for my beautiful Ella; these next few weeks are so precious to me because this is the last time it will be just she & I, two peas in a pod. I am worried about her adjusting to Noah, depending on what his needs are. It's hard enough adding a perfectly healthy new baby to a family, much less one with these circumstances. I pray for her understanding and strength during this time, and just that God would bless these last three weeks with the two of us.
To anyone reading this, I'm asking the biggest favor-- we need so much prayer, we know that God is a God of miracles and we are expecting this miracle, but we are scared too.
Love,
Andie
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
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